It’s a new dawn,it’s a new day and I’m feeling good….

I need to start with an apology – I was feeling miserable yesterday but you’ll be pleased to hear I’m a lot better today.

I’ve decided that I might benefit from a body massage – I’m so stiff and sore it can’t hurt can it?  Of course it’s not that easy finding the right masseuse when you have a disability. I have tried a conventional spa/salon but felt both uncomfortable and nervous (which kind of defeats the purpose). At one salon I spent almost the entire session explaining how I became disabled and at another making stupid small talk because the masseuse was so obviously avoiding the issue through embarrassment!   I knew there must be  somewhere that both parties could feel comfortable and relaxed because they had experience of treating disabled clients you will be please to hear I’ve found one:-

http://www.bethhunt.co.uk/
Beth Hunt – holistic and complementary therapy in Liverpool and the North West.

This is a bit more like the old me…taking control. I’m tired of feeling ‘tired’ if that makes sense. I need to try and forget that I’ve got a new knee and focus more on the fact that the old worn out one is gone! It’s easy to forget how bad and debilitating the pain was, even though the post-op pain is horrendous at times, you somehow accept that as being part and parcel of having an operation – almost part of the healing process.

I’m really looking forward to my massage, and of course I will report back.

Nothing to say……now that will be a first!

I’m having a bad day today. I feel bad tempered, sad, lonely and anxious – my knee really hurts and I can’t be bothered to do my exercises – I’ll be better tomorrow I promise.

One of those ‘good to be alive days’

In my part of the UK it’s been a glorious day, bright and warm. I sat outside on the garden bench said hello and chatted to more people today than I have seen in the past 4 weeks. The weather makes such a difference to your mood and your outlook on life, I never take a nice day for granted.  As I anticipated my knee has been quite sore today ( a bit of payback for yesterday-but that’s ok).

I received an email from EasyJet asking for ID details as our holiday is less (by a day) than 3 weeks away.  I am trying not to look forward to it too much because it can sometimes be a bit of a let-down when you look forward to something so much. However, a change of scenery and hopefully a little sun on my face will be just the tonic I need to prepare .for the long winter.

It’s almost 10 weeks since my knee replacement and I’m not going to lie it’s been tough, but in my sane and logical moments I know I have come a long way. Still a way to go but I’ll keep on truckin!!

People,coffee and chat…

This morning I had a social engagement.  It was so nice to ‘dress up’ and put on a bit of ‘war paint’.  I’ve been to a Macmillan Coffee Morning with a friend and although I am probably a pound or two heavier (me & cake=NO WILLPOWER) I had a lovely morning for a great cause and met some really nice people.  The only part my knee played today was getting me to the venue and back!

I’m cream crackered!

The title says it all really- I could have used a term more synonymous with where I originate from but I’m to much of a lady. 

I have wisely decided on an early night because I am so tired.  I am writing this in a zombie like state. My whole body aches  but I’m not complaining because I know why. Today I have been busy, definitely my most productive day post-op. However I did not expect my physio session to be so full on.  Knee bend was the same 112 degrees. Which did not surprise me because exercise has been spasmodic due to a) having a flu bug and b) the awful pain returning in my knee a couple of days ago.  I have been re-assured that the pain is not significant of anything being wrong, more to do with the fact I am moving about a lot more and walking unaided indoors most of the time. Muscles that have ‘been asleep’ are being woken up and asked to resume work, a bit like trying to get going after a holiday!  To say I was surprised when asked to get on the exercise bike would be an understatement – but it was fine, comfortable even.  Gently stretching my leg was really soothing, I could feel the tendons and ligaments pulling but it wasn’t painful. 

I collected my grandson from school as a treat (that turned into a mission due to no parking spaces close to school which meant a hike for me) because it was his daddy’s birthday so we had cake and candles and singing – it was lovely 🙂 

So the aches and pains have been earned today……rest tomorrow the body says so, and I have homework – 115-117 degree knee bend by the 4th October, Gestapo, sorry meant physio orders! 

Every Cloud has a Silver Lining

Woke up this morning feeling fine..(cue for a song there I think!) Phone rings its my stressed son, my grandson is ill can’t go to school and he has a very ‘busy’ day ahead can I help?  I am going to admit I was not looking forward to caring for a sick 4 year old, normally I would take it in my stride but my energy levels are not what they were.  In short I have had a lovely day under a fluffy blanket on the sofa playing cards, lego, building towers and demolishing them and watching Mr. Bean & Ben 10! All in all a very taxing day with my little man. It’s 5.15pm and he has just left for home…..I’m shattered but so happy that have again had a day when my life resembles some form of ‘my’ normality. Oh, and no pain relief needed again!

Happy Monday :)

The only negative thing to happen today was the return of the sharp knee pain during my daily exercises that I experienced during my very first physio session – the difference being I DID NOT work through it I stopped immediately, one of my better decisions.

The day steadily improved, I received a lovely card/letter from some friends we’ve not seen for many years who had heard about my op. Lovely to read a ‘written’ letter I’d forgotten how nice it was to receive one, I’m going to reply tomorrow it will be interesting to see how it turns out and if I can keep it to a couple of pages! Later in the day I embarked upon my first ‘long’ drive to see my parents. Saw mum first in the nursing home she was drifting between past and present with a bit of Murder she Wrote thrown in – she was totally ‘on it’ I on the other hand was totally confused! I arrived at dads and after 10 mins two unexpected visitors arrived (his sister & hubbie) my aunt and uncle. The afternoon turned into a mixture of
reminisces and lots of laughter, such a change from medical and knee based conversation.

On the way home I stopped at M&S food and bought a few treats (a little bit of what you fancy….) I also cooked our meal tonight first time for 9 weeks. So all I want to say now is ‘hello life’ welcome back 🙂

It’s quite sobering to realise how much you miss the routines of life when you can’t do them.

From the smallest acorn mighty oak trees grow

 

The title sums up my day so far. It started by me only realising 20 minutes ago that I have not taken my usual daily dose of pain relief, not because I’ve forgotten but because my level of pain has not demanded them 🙂  Then plus number 2 was following my shower ritual (and I use the word ritual advisedly) I was shocked to  realise that I was actually lifting my right foot (knee replacement leg) to dry my toes with no significant level of discomfort – this is immense for me and says more than any physio comments ever could!  The human body is amazing if you treat it with respect and for the first time I am actually starting to accept that healing happens when nature is allowed to do its thing.

However I am a still a little concerned about my overall well-being in terms of energy levels, and more particularly the condition of my skin which is dry, scaly and I’m horrified to say spotty!  So today I’m starting a vitamin course, even though I eat well my lack of fresh air and activity these past 9 weeks is beginning to take its toll – roll on 18th October, Portugal and sunshine.

I am watching my husband do the garden (from the comfort of my arm-chair). Sorry to disappoint you but no I do not wish I could help him – I hate gardening 😉

Another one of those days…

Saturday morning, match day.  I’m really missing going to the Liverpool games its such a big part of our family life. Unfortunately for me our seats involve a lot of stairs and is a bridge too far at the moment. In fact I am going to write to the club to ask if I can move my season ticket to a lower level, no point climbing a mountain if you can walk around it! 

This week has been tough, more mentally than physically if I’m honest. I’ve had 2 or 3 days  when I could have just stayed in bed – I didn’t which I suppose says something for my determination to keep moving forward. In fairness I think my negative thoughts have more to do with the ‘family episode’ (for want of a better word) earlier in the week. Also my daughter is on holiday a with limited phone/wifi access and I’ve missed chatting to her.

My knee pain has been ‘different’ this week more of a stinging sensation than the usual heavy aching, ice-packs definitely help and I prefer using those 5 or 6 times a day than popping pills if I’m honest. I also think that having to start wearing ‘winter’ clothes is a bit depressing – maybe a new wardrobe is what I need 🙂

If I can do it, anyone can!

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

This is my new philosophy and today I took the first steps towards actually living it.  Some personal family stuff has happened over the past 24 hours and my normal reaction is to plough in and try to ‘fix things’ However I need all my mental and physical energy at the moment to get myself fit and well, so I am going to be a little selfish rather than my normal selfless. It wasn’t easy telling someone you love and care about that you can’t support them in a particular personal decision, and that you will be stepping back and can’t be involved in that particular area of their life.  When someone continues to make the same mistakes, hears only what they want to hear, and sees obvious dangers through rose coloured spectacles you need to let them continue down the path until they can’t go any further and need to ask for directions.  I will no longer being dashing down the path trying to catch them and stop them getting to the end.

My knee is good today, despite very little sleep last night (more through mental than physical reasons).  I am now moving around the house without any crutch for longer periods which makes me happy.

Healing is a mind AND body process.